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BDSM or Abuse

Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon has led a lot of experts to state that women actually want abusive relationships, based on how many of these books have been sold worldwide. However, one should not confuse BDSM with abuse.

An abusive relationship includes emotional, sexual and/or physical violence, whereas in BDSM, almost everything is negotiated and agreed upon, unlike what an average couple does. In the former, the abusive partner is emotionally unstable, and he – or sometimes she – projects these flaws to his or her partner through violence.

However, a BDSM relationship is always based on the decision of two consenting adults, who define the limits that are safe and playful for them. An abuse in sexual history or physical and emotional abuse is not less common than among average couples. So, if you think that people in these relationships suffer or have a mental problem, then you need to know that it is the exact opposite. They are simply having fun, and it usually means more of it than what average people are.

And there is one more aspect that average do not have, but in domination-submission games, it is inevitable: they communicate. They must talk about their feelings, fears, limits and emotions.

However, it is not for everyone. Those who have ever had abusive episodes or who have been abused should not try to play with pain, and even if a person is mentally healthy, regular BDSM is not suggested. Average people can take it once in a while only, but even if it is a regular practice to a couple, they should have at least sometime have “normal” sex, as well, or at least the roles should be switched a couple of times.

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